There is a famous con whereby some people set up a stall or a shop and make it seem like you are getting an amazing bargain. They tell you that you are buying £160 worth of perfume for 20 quid. Actually you are buying about 18pence worth of perfume for 20 quid. It's all worthless and smells of shite. I saw this happening and decided to be, er, a little vocal about the rip off. The people running the shop were not best pleased with me. Here is a recording of that incident. It is slightly edited because my friend did not want to be broadcast. She is in the country illegally. My favourite bit is about 1.40 into it when a young lady comes along. She and her male friend are plain clothes coppers and handle the situation fantastically. All in all a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the ending has been cut off where the fat man calls me a paeadophile and tells me to get a job. I actually sound like a bit of a dick in this, so to make up for that you are also getting what SHOULD have been the introduction to Shindiggery Live! but it wasn't. I used the worng tape. More to follow, including the whole Shindiggery live! event. Maybe even more of those. x

Guess what - I still haven't received my box or refund, and I've found it very hard to get any response from www.a1box.co.uk (although I did find out that no one called Alex Wright works there, surprising that). Anyways, I got through today and spoke to the delightful Susan Fisher, Mr.Fisher's wife. What a relief to speak to someone charming, erudite and totally aware of the customers needs.

I tried to have a cardboard box made for Shindiggery Live. It was very big - I wanted 1150mm x 1150mm x 1150mm I found a company online, www.a1box.co.uk - I called them one Monday eveing and was told, that for just under £50, I would have one by that Wednesday. Wednesday came and went, no box. I waited patiently until Friday - still no box. Panicking, because I needed the box for the following Tuesday, I called the company again. The lovely lady on reception told me it would be with me by Monday. I asked to speak to the boss. She hesitated, but I insisted. I heard her put the phone down and ask the boss, Robin Fisher, to come to the phone. He went mental at her -'you f*cking idiot, you f*cking bitch, why do I want to talk to that f*cking prick' etc. Eventually he came to the phone and I was presented with the worst customer service I have EVER come across. Even worse than Royal Mail. Lies, abuse and sarcasm were all thrown at me. I remained very calm, told him I presented a radio show and that I would be doing a feature on him. 'Bring it on' he said 'I want to be coming out in full blown stereo'. We ended on bitter terms, but he promised my box would be with me on Monday. Hey kids, guess what, it wasn't. I called back immediatley after this to speak to him again. He refused to come to the phone. When I told his receptionist that I heard how he spoke to her and that I was sorry for her, she burst into tears. This Shindiggery is a recording of the phone calls I made on that Monday to find out where my box was. I was very calm and polite, I think you'll agree. Also, so is Mr.Fisher. He has obviously realised that I was who I said I was and did have the power to expose him as a lying dickwad. His tone of voice on this Shindiggery is completely different to how I was spoken to on the previous Friday. What makes it so funny is he pretends to be someone else and claims not to be the person I spoke to on that Friday. I know that this is untrue. We ended with a promise of a refund AND my box, which I should have received on Thursday 9th July 2009. Well, its Friday 10th and still no box... Mr.Fisher, you have opened an unholy can of whoopass. I have plenty of spare time and tricks up my sleeve. Be prepared my faithful, you may yet be called into battle.

Here it is kids. A live, Shindiggery phone in special from my spare room. Hear the pre-recorded call to Nigerian scammer Rooney Jeep and then listen to the cheek of the man as I call him up live! Then its just the usual bollocks I'm afraid. x

Oh well. You can't win them all. After disappointing stand up gig comes a disappointing Shindiggery. Bad levels, rubbish callers and Pauly all equals not greatness. Still, I;m off to be with a cup of Horlicks. Care to join me? This WILL get better sir. x

Yes ladies. Vinny is back, in a fancy restaurant, with a special Welsh guest. Life doesn't get any more offensive than this (apart from the REALLY offensive stuff I had to cut out)

This is the first proper Shindiggery Live Phone in Show It sort of worked. It's only a test but went on for an hour. A sign of things to come. Keep checking www.iainlee.com and my Facebook and Twitter things for announcements of more shows.

This is the first ever Shindiggery Live Broadcast Podcast.

For more details of when this show takes place and indeed occurs, visiti www.iainlee.com or befriend me on Facebook. Make sure it's really me, not a fake. I have about 2099 friends.

 

This was the second podcast recorded in the day. Sadly, the special Welsh guest muffed up and deleted it, and some other stuff too. The first one was much funnier. Anyway, this is just filth. Nothing clever or insightful here. So, expect nothing and you can then only be marginally disappointed. Coming soon - Vinny movies. x

This is the phone call at the centre of the scandal that is at the middle of the furore at the heart of the fuss that is really the core of the problem that has shunted Robert Peston from the top of the news.

I recorded this at my house and obviously, it wasn't broadcast. Just in case anyone asks, alright?

Punk'd

OK, so I'm struggling with the levels here. I'll admit it. Can anybody help? Every time I mix down the bloody podcast, it all goes really quiet. Macs are like so gay. x

Another bunch of mess and noise and some more old stuff. I sound like such a twat on the old XFM show from 2000. Sorry. x

A bit longer and a bit more historical. Listen as I clean out the attic and marvel at how young I sounded 8 years ago. This is a good 'un. x

This is really short and more than a little shit. What do you expect? Genius every time? This is still probably better than anything YOU could do, so get stuffed.

It's back and shorter than ever! Shindiggery makes its triumphant return to the internet with even less material than before.

This is the future of now today. I have included for your awareness a FREE ringtone of Vinny aka Varinder. This is my second attempt as the first one muffed up. My crappy iPhone wont let me use homebrew as text alerts. Maybe you will have better luck. Do let me know if this works or not. x

Welcome home, so they say. Now, on Monday 4th January 2007, a group of bummers got together to watch all 7 Police Academy films back to back. It was fucking hard work. You can relive the moment in what seems like real time. Ta. x

What a cunt.

Wow. Look at her. She is a Russian bird. Nice!

Better phone calls on this one, thanks bastards.

x

This one really is a crock of shit.

 

Another wee one. Tis a cool one. Please call in before that cock G-Man does.

 

 

More tiny one but a big tiny one.

I'm off to play Rainbow 6.

 

Another tiny one. This was infilitrated by G-Man, pictured on the right. I apologise.

 

I am obsessed with fat fucks. Have a look at this one!

Thanks for the calls. Even the ones from mad Emma. Although she can stop.

Keep calling and checking here. Numbers and emails and shit at the top of this page.

x

So these messages come and go after 3 days.

T-Mobile is the bollocks.

Come to me. Call. I promise daily. Promise. My word.

x

Shindiggery Episode 10 comes forth like a bitch out of hell. Starting blocks and all are a go go too.

Now, keep sreading the sodding word. How dare you not?

Others too have started their own podcasts. If you like, why not check them out and listen?

www.thenextbigthing.mypodcast.com is done by that bender Varinder (Vinny) It is the funniest thing I have ever heard.

www.gman.libsyn.com is done by that bender gman. It's a bit shit.

www.watkinsian.libsyn.com is one done by a bloke called Ian Watkins. He spells his name wrong. I like him though.

Also, as always, visit the www.laughriot.co.uk and PLEASE add me as a friend on www.myspace.com/therealiainlee - I feel so lonely there.

x

 

Maximus glutonous. Hurrah. Tis a fullby and what one. All now is good so SING, I say SING, and I say it again. SINGH.

The war rages but fun can still be found here. Episode 9. I tire of this and may take a Shindiggerous break soon, continually publishing the daily efforts but resisting the urge for a major weekly. Just for a while. Panic thee not and rejoice that all is relaxable sil vous plait.

 

x

 

Another free one. They're all free.

If you don't get through, do keep trying. The phone box is emptied every day.

I have banners if anyone wants one for their website, just ask.

x

 

It gets stronger, like our love. Deeper and wider.

This is the best yet. Thank you all. I pissed myself laughing.

x

It keeps coming. Why don't you? You can call us now. We are here daily kids.

07904709411

 

x

Do you indulge? Why not?

07904709411

ASBO? PCSO?

Dig sir, dig.

Tiny yet perfect. You dig now? Call 07904 709411

Yes, you pay for call, but all of this...for FREE! Wow. How could you complain.

Say anything ANYTHING you want on the phone. Shindiggery does not censor.

x

So here we have the start of something new, that will soon seem tired. You call Shindiggery and say WHATEVER you want. Anything goes. I put it up here.

The number is 07904 709411

It fills quickly but will be emptied every day or so. Shindiggery aims to put a mini one of these up every day. Or so.

Dare I say we have a Triple M for the 21st century? No, I daren't.

x

Dunno. Spiders?

Yes, all is here now and so with plans afoot including the merchandise and a daily show (what, daily? Maybe and sort of)

Do all call the Shindiggery hotline at 07904 709411

And feel freeeth to add me as a friend at www.myspace.com/therealiainlee and why the hell not visit www.youtube.com/therealiainlee

Leave comments. You'd be gay not to.

x

This can never be taken away from us, kids, so don't panic. While some may be lost, all is not. A tiny rock from which we cling to the old days and memorise the lines of the past. I'm struggling with my own language, let alone a foreign one. Meetings take us out of ourselves but remind us who we really are.

Sing one. Sing all. Shindiggery is not dulled.

x

 

Tis the 6th and all is well, fa la la la la la la la la.

Yes, with worshipfulness appropriate to one who just watched the Princess Bride last night, dig all dig one. Fun it is, headache notwithstanding.

Your faithful servant,

Lord Shindiggery et al.

x

 

A mini episode.

Do listen and comment.

Proper episode on its way soon, y'all.

Keep sending your shit in to shindiggery@hotmail.co.uk

And do leave comments here of what you like, dont like, want more of and all that.

x

 

This is episode 5 of what we lovingly call Shindiggery.

Remember, G-Man's podcast is rubbish. Do NOT download it from iTunes or anywhere, as it will be cack.

Anyways, onwards and forever upwards dearest England, nee the world sir. I urge thee to listen to the very very very end of this podcast (as you should always do) for a remix of the theme but beyond borders of even that there is bonus material. Yes, I have squeezed the very lifeblood out of this.

May I also recommend you pop along to www.laughriot.co.uk for not only reviews of this guff, but other stuff as well.

Please leave comments here, I miss you guys and as always, I urge thee to download from iTunes as well if you have the inclination. Although, we sit lowly and lonely at number 60 now, so it's pretty much game over.

Ta, as always, to GMF, Hugo, Alex and any other bummers that may pop up in it, innit.

x

 

A mini episode designed to boost the flagging ratings in the iTunes chart.

It's odd, the number of downloads is remaining pretty constant, but we slip down the chart. I think it's because everyone discovered the main shows late, and downloaded the test transmissions at the same time. Anyways, it dont really matter.

Welshy has his own myspace page. I urge you to say hello to him at www.myspace.com/imwelshy 

Ta.

x

 

At last, we made it kids. We are living the dream. This is episode 4 of Shindiggery, and those sods said we would never make it.

To celebrate, I decided to throw a party. Fantastic.

Thanks to everyone who sent stuff in, GMF, Eduardo, Hugo and Joolz.

Please feel free to send clips, gags, sketches, toss and guff to shindiggery@hotmail.co.uk

I beg of thee, if you have downloaded the show from here and you have the power to, would you please also download it from the iTunes to help Shindiggery get up the charts. The show is hovering around the mid 30's, and with a bit of a push we can do better than that. I would also appreciate your kind comments both on this page and the iTunes page, who knows, maybe a cheeky 5 star review as well.

Dig it brothers. And sisters. Wow.

x

 

PS this podcast will appear on iTunes a couple of days after first appearing here.

This is the Third (Shindiggery 3) Episode of the Shindiggerous Shindiggery.

Bouyed (Boyd) on by actually getting a chart position and several thousand (thats a fact) downloads, the Shindiggery team have decided to offer something to you a little lacklustre this week in an attempt to bring the holy empire down.

Ima nanji desu ka?

It's all true, I swear it.

Anyways, apologies for the content as always, but I am gathering a team of reguar contributors, many of whom have pissed off on holiday.

More apologies for the majority of the talking coming out of just one speaker. The left in my house. I have worked out how to remove this problem (record in mono dear boy!) and it will have gone by the next time. Probably possibly so.

Keep em coming to shindiggery@hotmail.co.uk

Ta to the GMF for this weeks toon. Kicking.

Feel free to leave nice comments on the itunes, for cry I do as well.

 

Ta Ta

x

 

 

 

The second (2) episode of Shindiggery already finds our heroes running out of ideas.

 

Bereft of any inspiration, Agent Chris from the other place decides to interview Iain Lee.

 

Wow. If that woman and Mrs.Mellows hated the last one, they're going to hate this one. As well. Hmm. That sounded better in our heads.

 

 

Welcome to the very first episode proper of Shindiggery, an infrequent show that may infrequently contain swears.

 

Feel free to contribute anything you want, jokes, sketches, songs, mp3's, pretty much anything. You can email them to shindiggery@hotmail.co.uk

 

So, in todays episode, Barry from Watford pops round. Shindiggery thought it might be fun. It turns out, Shindiggery isn't always correct. Shindiggery apologises.

 

Shindiggery would like to extend its hands to Jason, for his helpfulness in making the mp3's and also to Eduardo Paris and Guy Magic Fingers for the Theme From Shindiggery. I'm sure you will agree, it is a toe tapping work of art.

Shindiggery has asked JC into it's heart. You are urged to do the same. For JC has saved you download time, memory and confusion.

 

Thanks JC.

 

x

It is coming closer.

 

2 things stand in the way of Shindiggery being full and proper.

 

Music is being written AS YOU READ THIS. When tis done, you will HEAR it.

 

Shindiggery is also waiting on the iTunes to fulfill.

 

Closer....

 

Closer...

This is the first (1a) test transmission of Shindiggery.

 

We want you to send stuff. Yes, encouragement amour. So please, email to shindiggery@hotmail.co.uk